And you know what? They're right.
But how do you network? How do you walk up to a director/producer at that next film festival and "sell yourself" to them without being merely one out of a hundred actors who wants to hand them a business card and hopefully impress them enough to have an edge the next time they're casting?
My friend Torry Martin is a Master Networker. Some of his sage advice is to make it not about YOU, but about THEM. Focus on the relationship, not what you can get from the person. How can you help them? How can you invest in their life? Start a conversation. Ask questions. Listen.
To hear Torry expound on this subject in a fabulous podcast, click HERE. The best 20 minutes of networking advice I've heard. (And some great humor thrown in, too!)
I remember the first time I met Torry. We were at an Arts and Entertainment Conference in April 2013. Right away, he started asking me questions all about myself. It took me by surprise. He was a speaker at the conference. He was a highly experienced actor and comedian. He was a *somebody.* And he was showing a very genuine interest in ME and asking me to TALK about myself. Let me tell ya, folks, that's a nice feeling. I knelt down and swore my allegiance on the spot. (Haha, okay, not really.) But what was he doing? He was starting a friendship. And I'll never forget how kind he was.
With Torry a year later at the Christian Worldview Film Festival.
Maybe you're shy. Maybe the thought of "networking" terrifies you and you're tempted to throw in the towel right now, because if that's what it takes, your ship is sunk before you can even leave port. Well, I've got some good news for you. THERE'S HOPE! Because that's exactly how I felt a few years ago.
People keep telling me I'm good at networking. I used to look at them like they were crazy and I'd laugh in derision. "Psh! Who, me? You've got to be kidding." I would go to a filmmaking event specifically to network, then walk into a room full of strangers and suddenly I'd be as scared and as mute as rabbit. I would leave without meeting anyone new. Networking FAIL.
"But you know so many people!" my friends counter. "You have connections all over the place."
"Well, yeah," I reply with a shrug. "I have a lot of friends in the film industry."
Then I started to think about how I met those friends. On film sets. At film festivals through other friends. On Facebook. You know what? I have a HUGE network. And it keeps growing!
At this year's Christian Worldview Film Festival, George Escobar (founder of Advent Film Group) even singled me out in his keynote address as being a great example of a good networker. Well, at that point, I couldn't argue it anymore. If Mr. Escobar says it, it must be true. :-)
This is why there's hope for you. I grew up PAINFULLY SHY. I'm an extrovert, but deep inside, I am SO shy. (None of my friends believe it, but it's true.) However, I do love connecting with people! By now, I'm actually ADDICTED to networking. It's so much fun to meet people and help connect them to other people! ("Oh, you need a special effects artist? I know three that are really good at what they do! Let me give you their contact information.") I LOVE IT!!!
The more you do it, the easier it gets. And the more people you meet, the more people you can get introduced to without having to approach a total stranger (that part is still hard for me).
The key is to make it about them, not about you. When I put pressure on myself ("I have to meet this director because I want to be in their next movie"), I freeze up. If I can actually force myself to talk to them, I'm tense. I'm awkward. But if I'm just out to make friends, to get to know people, to see how I can help THEM, it's so much fun!
So relax. Go start a conversation. And start building that network. (And don't forget to listen to Torry's podcast because it's really worth it!)
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