Know Your Standards and Stick by Them - Part 1

One of the biggest pieces of advice that I would give to young or beginning actors would be this:

Know your standards and be ready to stand strong under pressure.

Today I'm going to address physical interaction between actors.

What kind of activities are you willing to engage in for a movie?  Are you willing to kiss someone?  Are you willing to be shown sharing a bed with the actor playing your husband/wife (perhaps you're not physically touching, or perhaps you're sleeping in each other's arms)?  Are you willing to act out a scene, either romantic in nature or an attack of molestation, where you as a man are having to run your hands over a woman's body, or you as a woman are on the receiving end of that?  Are you willing to simulate a rape scene (even with no nudity shown)?

You get the idea.

There are lots of possible scenarios that you might be uncomfortable with, or that might go against your personal standards of physical interaction with the opposite sex.  Maybe you think this won't be an issue because you've decided to do strictly Christian films.  I hate to break it to you, but I've read Christian scripts that have contained all of the above, and I've had to make choices and turn roles down.  It's not easy, but if God has led you to have certain standards, He will bless you for adhering to them.

Please note:  I'm not here to say what should or should not be shown in a movie, but I'm talking to you as the actor who would be the one carrying out these actions.

What are you willing to do?  What would you NOT be willing to do?  You need to make those hard and fast decisions BEFORE you set foot in an audition room or on a film set.  Because more than likely, you are going to be asked to compromise your standards and you have to be ready for that.  If you're wishy-washy about where you draw the line, then when that moment of pressure comes, you are more likely to compromise and do something you might regret later.

Also, you might find yourself WANTING to kiss that insanely good-looking actor playing your romantic interest, so if you want to save your kisses exclusively for your spouse, you need to have that already firmly set in your mind to help you fight temptation.  ;-)

Once you know what you will and will not do, you need to be upfront about that with the director.  If you get offered a part in a film, some of the mostly likely or prevalent issues need to be addressed before you sign a contract.

If you've read the script and there's no kissing mentioned for your character (for example), then you probably don't have anything to worry about.  If they spring a kiss on you at the last minute while you're filming (and it was NOT in the script when you signed the contract), then you are more justified in respectfully refusing to do it.  Sometimes you're not allowed to read a script until after you sign a contract (which is a dangerous scenario in itself unless you know and trust the director), so that's a situation where you definitely need to address some of those big issues first.

You don't need to rattle off your list, like "I WILL NOT do x, y, or z..."  Instead, start by asking questions ("What kind of physical contact does my character have with other characters in the script?"), or just say, "By the way, I wanted to let you know that I'm not comfortable doing x, y, or z.  Is that going to be a problem?"

The key here is RESPECT.  Please don't act self-righteous or assume the air of a diva.  Even if the director thinks your standards are stupid and he's not happy about having to recast the part because you aren't willing to do what he wanted, you'll leave a much better impression if you were kind, humble, and respectful.

Again, I'm not trying to tell anyone what their standards should be. I simply used examples to help illustrate my points.  

Bottom line:  Pray.  Decide between you and the Lord where you draw the lines.  Then stick to your guns!

And remember this...

You are valuable.  You are created in the image of God (Gen. 1:27).  Your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit (1 Cor. 6:19-20).  You are in control of your body and who is allowed to touch it.  You are not owned by a director.  Do not let anyone bully you or try to force you into doing something you are not comfortable with.  If you're a non-confrontational people-pleaser like me, it's hard to say no, but it's better than living with regrets.

And if you need any reminders about what a valuable person you are, click HERE for a great bullet point list of what the Bible says about your identity in Christ.  :-)